Separate behavior from identity
I Would like to continue the conversation regarding the effects of emotional abuse.
Emotional abuse is a form of psychological violence that can manifest in a variety of ways. It can leave deep-seated emotional scars, leading to reduced self-belief and self-confidence. Emotional abuse severely affected my self-confidence. Little by little I felt as if I was eroding away. The constant belittling, invalidation, and negative criticism lead to encouraging negative self-talk towards myself. This resulted in poor self-image and reduced belief in my abilities.
My ex-husband often manipulated conversations or situations to make me feel less adequate, further reducing my self-confidence. I doubted my abilities and worth, which lead to a lack of motivation for tasks such as work and singing. Constant criticism lead to self-doubt in one's decision-making abilities. I found it difficult to find the courage to make choices and take initiative.
Coming out of the abuse’ I found I had to reprogram myself from the effects of this abuse. This included counselling, group therapy sessions, Christian recovery groups (RTF, and Restored Lives). Each group provided something different for my road to recovery. For example, Restored Lives https://www.restoredlives.org/ provided more practical advice. RTF https://www.restoringthefoundations.org/ went deeper into spiritual matters in order for my soul to heal.
It is also worth me mentioning the following points although personally did not affect me as much. Victims of emotional abuse may become overly sensitive to criticism and negative feedback, making it difficult for them to handle constructive criticism positively. They may take criticism personally, leading to feelings of inadequacy. As a result, victims of emotional abuse may avoid social interactions or engaging in new activities to avoid the risk of being criticized and judged.
Emotional abuse can cause the development of anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. In my case depression and anxiety affected me. I exhibited symptoms of low self-esteem, fear, a lack of self-worth, and a general sense of hopelessness. These symptoms, in turn, exacerbate the experience of emotional abuse, leading to a vicious cycle of self-doubt, negative self-talk, and reduced self-confidence.
Often many can mistake these symptoms as the personal identity of the victim. I was often labeled as shy, weak, and soft. I couldn't begin to tell you how frustrated, alone, and annoyed I felt. I was fighting so many battles and yet no one could understand that the behavior was a manifestation of the abuse and not my personality/ identity.
For those wanting to help, or understand those who have gone through domestic abuse in marriage, my advice would be to be as patient with them as you can. Try to avoid judgments. Understanding is such an important healing tool on the road to recovery. Separate the behavior from identity. It is not who they are its the result of the abuse.
It is crucial to note that emotional abuse is not easy to recognise, as it often takes a subtle yet systematic form, making it challenging to confront and overcome. However, it is essential to identify and address it to prevent further damage to one's self-confidence and overall well-being. Victims of emotional abuse should seek professional help from qualified therapists or counselors to help address the emotional turmoil and regain self-esteem.
The courses I went on were of great help to me. In conclusion, emotional abuse can significantly affect one's self-confidence, well-being, and motivation. Victims of emotional abuse should seek support and professional help to rebuild their self-confidence, self-worth, and emotional resilience. It is important to recognise and address emotional abuse early, before it takes a toll on one's mental and physical health.
More for me soon
