Hephzibah [My delight is in her]
I seem to have got myself into a rabbit hole, and now I am climbing back out of it. You will remember from my post in May that I was beginning to dive in deeper into the effects of emotional abuse.
I want to continue that theme in the hope that I can reach people who have suffered or are still suffering in that area.
As you are aware from my story when I got out of my abusive marriage, I found myself feeling completely lost.
I needed hope and a fresh sense of purpose and identity. As part of the abuse, I was conditioned to believe I was a useless slave that no one cared about. That I was only good for labour, verbal abuse, punishment, and never qualifying for love.
My self-esteem was non-existent. It has taken lots of spiritual intervention as well as counselling to undo this damage. Although the process is ongoing, I am far better than I was, all those years ago.
I wrote this spoken word sitting on a tube in London. I would like to share it with you and I trust that it will give you some comfort and inspiration.
From Prison to Purpose
Years of captivity,
Lost, sometimes forgotten, hoping for freedom,
visitors came but, didn’t know how to free me.
Not anymore, not today
With the gates behind me, I look up to the sky, with the sun in my face,
Smelling the fresh cool breeze.
Where do I go now?
What do I do with this gift of freedom?
When your life lessons have been misery,
And the pain has been your history, How do I find my destiny?
I hear my Father’s voice speaking clearly in my ears, Telling me who I am.
Feeling a transfusion taking place,
Life returns to my soul,
Seeing love in His eyes,
He shows my history is not a curse, But a promise to me.
That what the enemy meant for harm, God will turn it into a glorious destiny.
From rags to royalty,
From slavery to sonship,
From grief to glory,
From prison to purpose.
The 1st time I started to feel valued was when I was led to read Isaiah 62. This was when I was still married and things were really bad.
It was a God moment. I was sitting at my kitchen table completely lost, and my eyes were drawn to my bible to that scripture.
I felt valuable for the 1st time in a long time, and as soon as I began to believe it, I put boundaries in place to stop the abuse, which eventually led to my freedom.
Here are the words of that scripture that changed my life. My prayer is that you would believe them for yourself.
Isaiah 62
Amplified Bible, Classic Edition
1 For Zion’s sake will I [Isaiah] not hold my peace, and for Jerusalem’s sake I will not rest until her imputed righteousness and vindication go forth as brightness, and her salvation radiates as does a burning torch.
2 And the nations shall see your righteousness and vindication [your rightness and justice—not your own, but His ascribed to you], and all kings shall behold your salvation and glory; and you shall be called by a new name which the mouth of the Lord shall name.
3 You shall also be [so beautiful and prosperous as to be thought of as] a crown of glory and honor in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem [exceedingly beautiful] in the hand of your God.
4 You [Judah] shall no more be termed Forsaken, nor shall your land be called Desolate anymore. But you shall be called Hephzibah [My delight is in her], and your land be called Beulah [married]; for the Lord delights in you, and your land shall be married [owned and protected by the Lord]
More from me soon.
