Moving Forward…
Do you remember my post ‘what’s wrong?’ Wow, have I been on a journey to better understand the effects of emotional abuse. Some of the things I was hard on myself about were actually the areas that needed the most care, understanding, and nurture. For example, I was not kind to myself in the area of developing and growing self-confidence. The abusive relationship I was in, war me down so badly, I scarcely believed anything good about myself. The tough-love approach toward myself and from others made the problem worse. E.g. you wouldn’t further beat someone when they are already half-dead on the floor and wonder why they are not getting better?
Understanding the reason behind the damage gave me clues on how to treat the trauma. Nurture, kindness, care, understanding, patience, and love was what I needed. I did not understand that emotional abuse directly seeks out to kill and destroy your self-confidence and worth. The sick thing is, it is done slowly and painfully over time. Often you don’t realise it is happening till the damage has been done. My saving grace as mentioned in my song in Beautiful Show was when God broke into my darkness and began to remind me of my worth and identity.
I will do a separate post about understanding emotional abuse, as I continue on my own journey of understanding its effects on my life.
The point of me sharing this is twofold. Firstly, if you are trying to help someone who has been abused, please do your research, and understand the nature of the abuse and how it affects the individual. Your understanding will aid you in better helping the person. If you don’t, your lack of understanding will most likely do more damage. Please be patient. The person may not even be able to effectively articulate the events, or understand what they are going through. That’s one of the side effects of emotional abuse, as well as confusion, low confidence, indecisiveness, and self-blaming. Please navigate this with kindness and compassion as it is exceedingly difficult to articulate psychological torment. Especially if you have been conditioned to believe it was all your fault.
If you are reading this and can identify with the journey, please be patient with yourself as your soul begins to heal. Reading up on emotional abuse has as really helped me to understand my behaviours and my ex-husbands. I am beginning to understand that healing takes as long as it takes. Sometimes it’s quick, sometimes it is longer. But the hope I cling to and what I want you to also feel as you read these posts is that there will come a time when you and I are truly free.
“No tear will be wasted, no pain will be wasted, I (God) will use these things and turn it for your good.”
This blog entry is inspired by my single No Tear will be wasted. If you have not heard the song yet you can hear it here:
https://linktr.ee/ggcreativearts
More from me soon
